Stereotypes Are Forever

I grew up in Alabama, the "Heart of Dixie" to most life-long residents, where the heart of racism in the U.S. was thought to reside.  I lived through the busing of whites and blacks across town in an effort to integrate the schools, and experienced hatred and anger first-hand when a group of bused-in blacks attempted to "gang-jump" me when I decided to take a short-cut between portable buildings on my way to class one day.  Luckily, a teacher walked by at the most opportune moment to interrupt the inevitable ass-whipping that comes with a six-against-one disadvantage.  I remember going home so angry that day, and walking in our house yelling about the "damn n - - - ers", only to come face-to-face with our maid, who was an older black lady that I truly loved and respected (By the way, no, we weren't rich.  My dad always ensured that my mom had help from a maid several days a week and worked hard at his job as a drug store manager to provide that to her).  I quickly and sheepishly apologized to her, and when I explained to her and my Mom what had happened, she told me not to worry, that I was right to call them "n - - - ers".  Interestingly, it was a word that I actually rarely used as a kid, and that has always made me uncomfortable to say or hear, even as a child growing up in those times.  The whole situation was both confusing and frustrating for me as a child, because the black peers that I had grown up with, both as classmates throughout elementary school and as playmates from a small black neighborhood adjacent to my own, were my friends and we always got along.  Of course, being that young and being primarily exposed to the white side of things, I simply didn't understand what the bused-in students were so angry about, and why we couldn't get along like I did with my lifelong black peers. 

You would think that growing up in the environment I did, at that particular time in history, I would be a racist and a bigot as an adult.  But I was never a racist as a child, and as an adult, I am actually a very racially neutral person.  I do, however, have some strong feelings and thoughts about race relations and individual rights.  For instance, while I backed affirmative action when it was first initiated in order to "right the ship" or "level the playing field", I believe we have come far enough at this time to end some of those policies.  I believe strongly in equal rights, but not special rights. 

I also think that bigotry, or prejudice, at its heart, is based upon stereotypes.  Unfortunately, no matter how much we run public campaigns to eliminate stereotypes, they are likely to exist as long as the human race survives.  The human mind seems hard-wired to “classify”, or group the things in our environment based upon perceived characteristics that those in a group are believed to uniquely or predominately share.  Whether its food (“healthy” versus “unhealthy”), cars (“practical” versus “sporty” or “extravagant”) or politicians (“conservative” versus “liberal”), we find it impossible not to group things based on what we believe we know about them.  And it is only natural that this inclination to sort and classify things affects how we view the other people that we share this planet with.  Only with classifying people, there are a lot of strong emotions attached to it, the characteristics we attribute seem to be negative more often than not, and we call it “stereotyping”.  

Unfortunately, stereotypes are perpetuated by the fact that there is always some grain of original truth to a perceived group characteristic.  Typically, one or more events (or actions/behaviors by one or more persons) somewhere in the history of a particular race, religious group, culture, etc., initially plants the seed of a perceived characteristic, whether deserved or not.  Thereafter, if it is initially attributed as a characteristic of that group, any similar event or behavior by any person who is part of that group is perceived by others as providing supportive evidence that the characteristic is accurate to the entire group.  It doesn’t matter that the behavior or characteristic is actually demonstrated by only a small fraction of people from that group, or that it is equally demonstrated by an equal or greater proportion of people outside that group, or that it may not have even been first demonstrated by a member of that group.  It is nonetheless automatically “highlighted” in our eyes when it is observed in a member of the stereotyped group and is generalized to most or all members.  When the same behavior is demonstrated by a member of our own group, or a group that we don’t harbor a negative attitude toward, it is perceived as an "anomaly" that only calls into question the character of that one person rather than being an example of the character of their entire group.  For instance, I heard a prominent African-American, in discussing race relations, refer to the stereotype held by many non-blacks that African-American males are "hyper-sexual".  While this may not be accurate across the board for all African-American males, the fact that a portion of young African-American males are often observed grabbing their junk in public while making off-color sexually-oriented comments to a passing female only serves to strengthen the stereotype.  It is equally strengthened when a prominent African-American makes the news for cheating on his wife, while the same stereotype is not applied to whites when a prominent Caucasian (i.e. Bill Clinton) gets caught doing the same thing.  By the same token, the stereotype that all whites from the south are redneck bigots holding on to their Confederate history, is strengthened by the relatively small portion of uneducated trailer dwellers that display confederate flags on their body, cars, clothes and wherever else they can.

This is not to say that there aren't characteristics that are truly unique to one race or religious group, or a limited number of similar groups.  Some stereotyped characteristics are in fact entirely accurate and justified, whether positive or negative.  Of course, stereotyped characteristics, as with beauty, are in the eyes of the beholder.

So, can we ever overcome the destructive effects of our natural tendency to form stereotypes?  Maybe, but I don’t know that trying to actually eliminate stereotyping is the answer, as it seems we are battling what I believe is hard-wired, instinctive human behavior.  Even if one believes they achieve a point where they no longer stereotype others, they are most likely just consciously suppressing the stereotypes that actually still exist in their mind. 

I believe the answer to reaching a world without significant racial conflict is two-fold.  First, we do have to be fully aware of, and recognize our own stereotyping of others for what it is, and make a conscious effort to mediate our response to these stereotypes.  In other words, when we see an example of something and we find ourselves thinking “Oh, that’s because he’s a [enter group here]”, we need to catch ourselves and ask, “Can I really say that only people in that group do that”?  We also need to ask ourselves “Is that actually unacceptable or bad, or is it just different from what I choose to do”?  We as members of our own group also need to be aware of the negative stereotypes that others harbor about us, that make us angry, and ask ourselves if we in fact do things to actually feed or perpetuate the stereotype, especially if it is perceived as a socially offensive or questionable behavior.  After all, if others perceive that members of our group characteristically engage in some socially unacceptable or offensive behavior, we cannot justify being angry about it if we in fact contribute to the stereotype through our own behavior. 

The second part of the solution is civility.  One of the most powerful things you can do to improve relations with someone of another race, religion, etc., is do demonstrate simple civility and common courtesy.  Doing the simple little things, such as holding the door open for each other, smiling and greeting strangers, and giving them the same respect that you give someone of your own race/religion.  And the good thing is, I believe this is a transformation in race relations that has already begun.  In fact, I've observed some amazing progress over my 50+ years, to include not just the increase in civil behavior among both whites and blacks toward each other, but also a significant increase in racially mixed relationships, both intimate and platonic.  I see many more examples of racially mixed friendships, social groups, marriages, business partnerships, etc., than ever before.  

But we have a long way to go.  And I believe that it's the younger generations that will make the ultimate difference in race relations.  They are, after all, the ones who have already demonstrated the most progress toward blending races socially, and who harbor fewer stereotypes about other races and religions than their parents and grandparents.  I think there is, in fact, a naturally-occurring transformation that began with the bringing of slaves to America, the hardships endured by blacks and imposed upon them by whites during the first few hundred years of our country's history, followed by the establishment of equal rights for everyone, the struggle of the civil rights era, and the beginning of the leveling off period that I believe we are in now.  While the playing field in areas like education and employment is still not level, it is much closer than ever before, and is close enough to allow both sides to begin to move beyond the hostility of the past and into civility.  The move into civility can only help in bringing about the continuing leveling of the field, and eventual complete normalization of race relations.  But even if we someday reach that point, we will still have to battle the effects of stereotypes, because it's in our nature, and stereotypes are forever.

UFOs and the Law of Probability

OK, I've always been a skeptic about many things that others find it so easy to believe in, hence my agnostic tendencies when it comes to belief in a grand creator for the earth and human race.  I usually need to see some empirical evidence before I just buy into something.  But I'm also more likely to put faith in the law of probability, even in the absence of hard evidence, which is why I've always believed that we could not possibly be the only life forms living in the universe.  Considering the sheer numbers of stars and orbiting planets, the probability of there being a large number of star/planet combinations similar to our own in terms of size, mass, distance between them, and thus, ability to harbor life, is rather large.  So what does probability say about the type of life forms that might reside on distant planets?  I'd say that the odds are good that while some may be home only to primitive microscopic lifeforms, others surely harbor races at least as developed as we are, and likely there are at least a few that have been around much longer and are more advanced.  So, while our scientists at NASA and in the private sector theorize and experiment with ways to move humans through space, and remind us that the technology currently does not exist that would allow beings to move through space fast enough to travel between distant planets, I wonder if there are races that, being so advanced, have solved that problem and have perhaps found their way to our little planet.  While the President hasn't held a news conference to introduce the world to the aliens that have come to bring us good will and their advanced technology in order to save us from ourselves, there are an endless number of "UFO" sightings and events throughout our known history such that, under that same law of probability, suggest that there might just be something to it. 

So why am I going on about this today?  Because last night, while sitting in my back yard watching the night sky simply for pleasure of it, I witnessed what I can only describe as a UFO.  A set of dim lights, moving very rapidly across the night sky in a wedge or triangle formation, making absolutely no sound.  The small size and dimness of the lights gave the appearance that they were a group of stars or satellites moving through space as opposed to being within our atmosphere.  Then again, it could have been one very large wedge-shaped object with a set of small dim lights that was flying low, and just appeared to be objects in space because of the small size and dimness of its lights and the silent movement.  And no, I wasn't the only one to see it, because I called my wife's attention to it, and she saw it briefly as well before it disappeared in the distance.  A few minutes later, while I was inside the house briefly, she witnessed something else moving silently through the sky in the same direction that she had a hard time describing.  This one didn't have lights, and didn't necessarily appear to be a solid object, but was clearly there. 

I know that some who might read this will say "Oh boy, another UFO crazy".  And that's OK.  I'm not claiming I saw an alien spacecraft flying above my backyard.  I'm only saying that I saw an aircraft, or a group of aircraft, flying in formation at a speed faster than anything currently piloted by human pilots, while making no sound at all.  But the possibility that it could have been a craft piloted by beings from a distant planet is, well, supported by the law of probability.

First Post

Welcome.  This is the first post to my new blog.  It should be noted that I've never had a blog before, and have only a vague idea of what this blog will contain as I move forward.  Hence the title, "Been There; Done That; Think This".  I've been  alot of places, done many things, and have an opinion on just about everything, so I've left it open to whatever the hell I feel like sharing on any given day.  I may tell a story from my life, or relate a recent experience, and will usually always express my thoughts either on a current issue or an historical event.  I will try to always be honest and truthful in relating events and my thoughts and feelings, but I may also poke a little fun at others, to include those that I am close to, people in the public eye, or complete strangers that I saw in Wal-Mart.  So if you or your likeness shows up in my blog as the target of good natured fun-poking, please don't be offended.  If you show up as the target of my ridicule or rant, well.... sorry, you probably deserved it.

First, a little basic history about me.  I'm a fifty-something male living in the deep south.  I am married and have one grown daughter, who has an appendage known also as a son-in-law, and two beautiful twin grandchildren that I adore.  I was born the fifth of five children to my parents, and was a "late-in-life surprise" to both, my dad being close to 50 and my mom being 43 when I was born.  I lost my dad to the consequences of smoking when I was still in high school, and because of her poor health my mom was moved to my brother's home in Florida.  At the time this occurred, the brother in Florida had no additional room, my other brother was stationed on a submarine with the Navy, my oldest sister had a full house with three kids already, and the other sister and her husband were stationed in Greece with the Air Force.  I was living in the rent-controlled apartment where I had moved with my mom and dad when his failing health and the financial impact forced him to sell our house, and I had the family car and all the furniture.  My elder siblings noted that I was in pretty good shape with these things, along with a Social Security survivor's check and income from a part-time job, and told me to "sink or swim".  So I started my adult life as a Junior in high school, managed to graduate eventually after having to give up my dream of playing football, served in the military during the height of the Cold War, lived in Europe and many other places, married twice, held a number of jobs, earned two Masters Degrees along the way, and had one helluva ride through life up to this point.  As with most people, some of it was really good, some of it was really bad, most of it fell somewhere in-between.  Some of it I wouldn't change for anything, while for some of it I wish I could have a "do-over" to fix a few regrets.

I know that I am now on the "downhill side" of my life, probably looking at just another 25-30 years if I'm lucky, and in realizing my own mortality I feel the need to leave something behind that tells my story.  I've been told by more than one person that I should write a book about my life, but that's too much damn work at this point, and besides, books have to be constructed with order and have a pre-determined ending.  Luckily, I've lived to see and make use of this technology, where I can freely write whatever I want, with no specific order, and which can come to an unscripted end whenever I lose interest or lose my ability to write. Or, perhaps, just plain drop dead.